Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
