I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize