Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
