I want to stick my p in your. b.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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