her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
