He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize