That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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