Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
