Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
