i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
