remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
