oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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