we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He did a backflip because drugs
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
