My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
