she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
