i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
