Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Randomize
