dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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