Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
