I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
