god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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