Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
