just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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