No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
