Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize