Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just googled if crying burns calories
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize