Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
