I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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