I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
