I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
what day is it and did you see me today?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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