this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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