What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize