But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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