It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
How does one acquire holy water?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
