Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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