He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
