his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
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