Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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