I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
