Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
