forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
