Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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