I bet he comes in French.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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