dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My vagina is officially offended.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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