So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
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I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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