white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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