There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
