her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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