Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
