I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
