then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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