I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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