Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
