If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
