Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize