Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
