Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I want her autograph on my taint
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
