Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
