There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
