dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
