no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So many bounce houses so little time
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
