I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
