i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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