is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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