Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
