I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
