I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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