Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
