What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
