u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
