the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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