oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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