Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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