I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
