Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
